Is Homelessness a Traumatic Event??

Below is a story that was written for me by one of the children with whom I have worked over several years. It’s his tale of how he ended up in foster care. You will notice that the traumatic events in this brief period of his life included homelessness, multiple moves, financial stress, starvation, domestic violence, and abandonment. Those traumatic events turned out to be just the tip of the iceberg with regard to creating his trauma symptoms. I have edited some of the sentences to make them grammatically correct, but the meaning and basic structure of his sentences are still intact.  This story is timely because of the many, many children whose families are facing homelessness and disruption in current times.  

Christmas Day this past year was one of the worst days of my life.  The events of that day pushed me to my limits. To provide some background, my family is pretty much homeless. My dad, who is a carpenter, lost his job. When we couldn’t pay the rent, we had to move to a shelter. Since then, we’ve been moving from place to place, sometimes with relatives, sometimes in shelters, sometimes in motels. Needless to say, it’s a very stressful existence because I never know where we will be and how I will get to school. Sometimes, I have had to walk a couple of miles to my junior high school. I am determined not to miss school because I can get food there, and I have to be at football practice if I want to play in the games.

                  During the Christmas break, things got worse for me. Since there was no school, I didn’t have a definite plan for food every day. Also, my parents left my baby brother and me alone all day. They had promised me that we would stay in a motel for a few days, so I got to watch TV. That was all I could do all day besides try to keep my brother happy. Often, when my parents showed up, they fought with each other. They fought about everything but mostly about money.

                  On Christmas Day, I had stayed alone with my brother all day without any food. We both were pretty cranky after not eating all day. He was crying, and I was tired of trying to cheer him up. I kept hoping that my parents would bring us some food. I didn’t think they would have any gifts for us because they didn’t have any money. About 7 o’clock Christmas night, my mother arrived with some formula and diapers for my brother. When I asked her for some food for me, she just shrugged her shoulders and said that maybe my dad would bring some. Then my dad came in without any food for me, and my parents started screaming at each other. I had enough. I told them that I was leaving, and I walked out the door and into the hallway. They didn’t follow me. I kept walking.

                  When I walked out of the lobby door into the parking lot, I wondered whether I had made a mistake. It was freezing outside! The temperature was about 15 degrees, and I was wearing shorts and a hoodie. In addition, there was snow on the ground, and more was coming down. I jammed my hands in my pockets, hunched up my shoulders, and started walking. I was crying, angry, and hungry, but I was determined to get to some place warm with food. I was not going back to that crazy life with my parents. I knew that my aunt would probably feed me, so I headed for her place a couple of miles away. After what seemed like hours, I could see my aunt’s house. I was so happy to see light in her windows. When I got to her house, I ate a lot of food and fell asleep. I stayed at her house for a few days. I loved it until my mom brought my baby brother to stay with me.

After a week of living with my aunt, a social worker came and took my brother and me away from my aunt’s house and to a foster home. I stayed up all night crying and wishing that I could go back to my aunt’s house. The next day, I went to school and had a great time. I was happy at school, but when I got back to the foster home, I started crying again. Finally, after a month of living in the foster home, my uncle came to get my brother and me. We are now living with him, we have plenty of food, and things are definitely better for us because we are with people who care about us. All in all, I know now that I can take control of my life when things get really bad. I plan to do it again when necessary. Postscript: The good news is that this young man did take control of his life. He lived with his uncle until he graduated from high school. He participated in Somatic Experiencing Therapy with me. He subsequently completed a two-year internship to learn a trade. He then began working in that trade successfully. The homelessness that he had experienced turned out to be a package of traumatic events that pushed him to his limits. Moreover, several other serious traumatic events had preceded the homelessness. Additionally, he was being expected by his parents to take care of his infant brother, something that he really was not prepared to do adequately